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Did Yosef ever forgive his brothers? We have a poignant scene at the end of this week’s parsha:
It’s worth noting that it looks like the brothers are lying here:
But does reflect the fact that they want him to forgive them.
I would assume that ועתה שא נא לפשע עבדי אלקי אביך is their words, rather than those attributed to Yaakov. They asked for forgiveness through a messenger. But that’s OK:
So how does Yosef respond?
Rashi reads Yosef’s response as a practical one: Don’t worry; I couldn’t hurt you if I tried. And if I tried, it would be really bad PR for my administration. There really isn’t any hint of “I forgive you”.
Rabbeinu Bachya says this explicitly:
Rabbeinu Bachya says that Yosef didn’t forgive them, and they remained unshriven. We all know the piyut אלה אזכרה that connects the עשרה הרוגי מלכות, the Hadrianic persecution after the destruction of the second בית המקדש (that ended with the fall of Beitar and the destruction of Bar Kochba’s rebellion), to the sale of Yosef:
What is the connection between the sale of Yosef and עשרה הרוגי מלכות? It seems that Yosef, even if not looking for revenge, held a grudge (at his level; he was still יוסף הצדיק):
The parallel is with how the brothers originally treated him:
Tolerance is better than vengeance, but it is not forgiveness.
Because what was the cause for the destruction of the second בית המקדש?
רבן גמליאל and רבי אליעזר were disciples of רבן יוחנן בן זכאי, who re-established the Sanhedrin after the destruction of the second בית המקדש. Their difference of opinion led to the excommunication of רבי אליעזר and the death of רבן גמליאל and the aggadic destruction of a third of the world.
And the next generation, the disciples of רבן גמליאל and רבי אליעזר, included רבן שמעון בן גמליאל, רבי ישמעל and רבי עקיבא. That was the generation of the עשרה הרוגי מלכות and the ones who would pay the price for the historic Jewish inability to forgive those with whom we disagree.